


When You've Got it, Flaunt it

by AnonEhouse



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cap-Ironman Bingo, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Gen, Humor, M/M, No Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 03:51:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5812768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/AnonEhouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve discovers Tony's secret power.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When You've Got it, Flaunt it

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

 

"Aren't you ready yet?" Steve asked. Honestly, Steve had absolutely no idea why it always took Tony so long to get ready for a date. Steve was showered, shaved, shoes shined, and dressed, and still always had time to play three or four games of Free Cell before Tony sauntered out of the can.

He didn't get _that_ dirty in his workshop. Steve was beginning to wonder if this was some sort of test of his patience.

"Tony, we have reservations!" Steve shouted through the bathroom door.

"Don't worry!" Tony yelled. "They're not gonna let Captain America go hungry."

Steve rolled his eyes in exasperation. "We're not playing the Captain America card tonight. We save that for the forces of evil, remember?"

"Does that mean you won't put on the uniform for me later?"

"That depends on how evil you're gonna be." Steve moved a few more cards and let the auto-play clear the board again.

"I'll twirl my mustache, and pet a fluffy white cat."

"At this point, I'd eat your fluffy white cat."

"Why, Steve, you'd eat my..."

"Language," Steve said in his sternest voice, because it always cracked Tony up. Sure enough, he heard Tony giggling, but the giggling was abruptly broken off by a cry of pain. Steve dropped his StarkPad to the carpet. "Tony? Tony, are you all right?" Tony always said he was fine, right up to the point where he passed out, so Steve didn't wait for a reply, but put his shoulder to the door and forced it open.

Tony was dressed, except for his dinner jacket, which had been hanging on the back of the door before Steve trod on it. Steve glanced down to make sure it wasn't the Alexander Amosu Vanquish II Bespoke. No gold and diamond buttons, ok, it was probably just his Brioni 'James Bond' suit. "Ow," Tony said softly. He was leaning over the sink, blinking rapidly. "I just got something in my eye." He groped around the counter for a moment. 

Steve picked up a bottle of saline solution. "Good thing you've got this eyewash right here. Huh. This is for contact lenses?"

Tony sighed. "Yeah. I'm a short-sighted futurist. Gimme."

Steve held onto the bottle. "Tilt your head. I can see the problem, there's a speck of dirt. You don't want to rub it in."

"Fine." Tony let Steve hold his eyelids open and flush out the particle. 

After he finished, Steve rubbed his fingers together. "What is this stuff?" It was tacky and black, but not shop grease. And it was on Tony's eyelashes. He looked closer. "Tony. Are you wearing makeup?"

"Whatever gives you that idea?" 

Steve looked down at the counter. "Mascara and eyeliner."

"Pepper must have left them behind. You know, before we broke up."

"And you left it here for a year?" Steve felt his eyebrows rising into his hairline. "Tony."

"Oh, God, the Captain America Demands Honesty voice." Tony scowled. "All right, fine, it's mine. You work with what you've got, right? I'm not tall and impressive, so I emphasized what I've got."

Steve blinked. "You..."

Tony turned his eyes towards Steve; the dark lashes and fine dark eyeliner made them huge and vulnerable. "Puppydog eyes. It's my secret power."

"Now that I know, it won't work on me," Steve said firmly. 

"Of course not, Steve." Tony widened his eyes and raised his eyebrows, angling them sadly.

Steve felt like a villain. "Gahh! No! That's just not fair."

"I know." Tony smirked. He bent over to pick up his jacket, and wriggled his ass a bit. "You're gonna wear the uniform later?"

Steve hung his head in defeat. "You know I will."

**Author's Note:**

> A fill for the 'Enhancement' square on my Bingo card.
> 
> Alexander Amosu Vanquish II Bespoke: price $101,860. It’s made from two of the most expensive wools in the world: rare vicuna and qivuik, and was custom-made for an anonymous buyer. It was reported that it was also delivered in an armored van. The suit has 9 buttons of 18 carat gold and diamonds.


End file.
